The second definition given for “love” in Webster’s dictionary is, “a passionate affection of one person for another.” Where does this passionate affection begin? Why do we choose to love those we love? Why is it that two strangers can speak for five minutes and feel as though they have known each other for five years? And if you take each person from that pair and pair them with another, they will say goodbye as quickly as they said hello. How do we decide with whom to share our intimate thoughts? And how do we decide to marry one love, and leave another?

The love of two people is as unique as the individuals in the pair. And the expression of that love is known only to those in that pair. Their love can be a light touch. It can be a wink from another room. It can be a raised eyebrow, or a laugh at the worst joke.

The maintaining of love shows itself in thousands of ways. It can be a romantic late night dinner. It can be a week’s vacation in Spain. It shows itself when we sit with our partners during a family crisis, support them in a new career, help them through a period of change, and greet them at the door when they come home from a tired days work. But why day after day do people choose to maintain their love when they could just as easily chose someone else? Why choose to visit a counselor to save your marriage when you could pack up your things and leave? Why choose to leave when you could save your marriage?

Love can be as complicated to understand as death. It can alter your mood, affect your health, save your life, and help you heal. A fight with a spouse or partner can leave you feeling alone when you’re in a room with twenty people. It can alter your mood so much so that concentration during the day can become impossible. Studies have shown that blood pressure can be lowered by simply petting your dog or cat more often; reading to patients and visiting them frequently can help them heal faster; people who are married tend to live longer than those who are not.

Why is it that a child raised in a relatively stable and loving home wants to build no relationships, have no friends, and move to a deserted island? But a child raised with abusive and neglectful parents spends his life reaching out to, and helping, everyone he can?

I once was in a relationship living with my boyfriend. When I ended the relationship, I was determined more than anything to keep our apartment. We had lived together for about a year, and during that time had built a home. Coming from a broken family, and somewhat turbulent life, I didn’t want to let that home go - so, I refused to leave. My boyfriend eventually moved out and I was able to keep the apartment. As the boxes left, and he eventually followed, each night after spent within those white walls, was exactly that – time spent within white walls. The home I had known was gone, the life we built - gone, and at the naïve age of twenty-one, I had learned that the home you share with those you love is not contained within the space in which you move about daily, but exists within your heart; within your mind; and within the connection you share.

Encyclopedia Britannica defines Cupid as “the ancient Roman god of love. According to myth, Cupid was the son of Mercury, the winged messenger of the gods, and Venus the goddess of love; he usually appeared as a winged infant carrying a bow and a quiver of arrows, whose wounds inspired love or passion in his every victim.” Is love part of an ancient Roman god? Are we each struck with a chord that we don’t have control over when we fall in love with another? Are there magical signs out there defining our destiny? The movie Serendipity suggests there are signs of fate in the universe and how you interpret and follow those signs will determine if you lead a happy and fulfilled life.

Is love a magical formula? Is it simply the pairing of individuals who find each other interesting and enjoying? Is there any rhyme or reason? And why do we choose to show love in the way we do, and to the select few we choose? How do you choose who to love? How do you express that love? And what love will you leave behind?

Why do you love?

6/06/07